Social Skills Groups for Autism and ADHD: Building Meaningful Relationships

By Amanda Neal, PsyD, Licensed Psychologist

Wanting friendship and knowing how to build it are different experiences. An autistic young adult may want closer connections but feel unsure how to join a conversation. A person with ADHD may connect easily at first, then struggle to follow up, manage interruptions, or keep plans. Someone with both autism and ADHD may find that social connection requires more energy, planning, and recovery time than others realize.

Social skills training can make parts of this process more understandable and manageable. When thoughtfully designed, social skills groups offer clear instruction, guided practice, and support applying new strategies in everyday relationships. The goal is meaningful connection that respects a person’s identity, communication style, needs, and choices.

In my work as a psychologist specializing in autism spectrum disorder (ASD), ADHD, and related emotional and interpersonal challenges, I approach social communication as part of a larger clinical picture. Effective support considers what someone wants from relationships, what they already do well, and what gets in the way of connecting.

Why Social Communication Support Matters for Neurodivergent Individuals

Friendship involves many small, often unspoken decisions. How do you know whether someone wants to keep talking? When does a casual conversation become a friendship? How do you suggest spending time together, disagree respectfully, or recognize that a relationship feels one-sided?

Advice such as “put yourself out there” leaves these questions unanswered. Explicit teaching can turn a vague expectation into something a person can understand, evaluate, and practice.

For some autistic individuals, support may focus on interpreting ambiguous messages, navigating changes in conversation, or communicating needs across different communication styles. For some people with ADHD, the challenge may involve sustaining attention, remembering to respond, managing impulses, or organizing social plans. These experiences vary, and a diagnosis alone does not explain a person’s relationships.

Social difficulties also reflect the environment. Sensory demands, exclusion, bullying, inaccessible activities, and misunderstandings between people with different communication styles can create barriers. An effective approach addresses those barriers alongside individual skill development.

What PEERS Teaches Us About Social Skills Training

PEERS®, the Program for the Education and Enrichment of Relational Skills, is a structured social skills intervention developed at UCLA. PEERS for Young Adults focuses on making and keeping friends, navigating dating when desired, and managing conflict and rejection. It combines lessons, demonstrations, behavioral rehearsal, and practice between sessions. Social coaches learn ways to support skill use outside the group.

An important lesson from the PEERS model is that understanding a skill and using it in daily life are separate steps. A participant may understand how to start a conversation during a lesson but need rehearsal and support to try it at a club meeting or college event.

Research supports PEERS for some autistic young adults. A 2015 randomized controlled trial involving 22 participants ages 18–24 found improvements in social skills knowledge, overall social skills, and frequency of social engagement, with most gains maintained at a 16-week follow-up. This was a small study of a specific population; its findings do not establish that every social skills group, or every participant with autism or ADHD, will have the same results.

Why a Social Skills Group Offers More Than Advice

A structured group creates opportunities to learn, try, receive feedback, and try again. Watching a clinician demonstrate a conversation can make an abstract idea clearer. Practicing with another participant gives the person a chance to experiment, notice what feels comfortable, and ask questions before using the strategy elsewhere.

For example, a participant who wants to get to know someone in a gaming club might practice sharing a brief comment about a game, asking a related question, and noticing whether the other person also contributes. The next step might be trying that approach at an actual club meeting, then discussing what happened with the clinician.

Group practice also introduces different perspectives. Participants can learn that a short response has several possible explanations: the person may be distracted, tired, uncertain, or ready to end the conversation. Learning to tolerate that uncertainty can be as valuable as learning a conversation strategy.

Not every social skills group functions as a friendship group. In PEERS, a central aim is to help participants develop relationships beyond the treatment setting. When considering a group, it helps to understand whether it primarily offers instruction, supported social activities, peer support, or a combination.

Building Conversation Skills and Finding Shared Interests

Conversation becomes more manageable when its building blocks are clear. Social communication training can help participants practice starting an interaction, sharing information about themselves, asking follow-up questions, and allowing room for another person’s interests.

The aim is flexible participation. Someone who asks many questions may benefit from practicing a small amount of self-disclosure. Someone who loves discussing a particular topic may practice checking whether a conversation partner wants more detail. Strategies should expand a person’s options while preserving the enthusiasm and interests that make them who they are.

Shared interests also provide places to begin. A recurring art class, tabletop gaming group, volunteer activity, or book club offers something to talk about and repeated opportunities to meet. Online friendships can be meaningful too; treatment goals should reflect the forms of connection the individual values.

Developing Healthy Friendships, Boundaries, and Self-Advocacy

Relationship support should help people evaluate whether a connection works for them. Mutual interest, respect, reliability, and room for both people’s needs matter more than simply increasing the number of social interactions.

Social skills work can include practicing how to decline an invitation, ask for clarification, communicate a sensory need, or address a misunderstanding. Someone might rehearse saying, “I’d like to spend time together, but that restaurant is too loud for me. Could we choose somewhere quieter?”

For individuals interested in dating, relevant goals may include communicating interest, understanding consent, respecting boundaries, and responding to rejection. Bullying or harassment requires protection and appropriate support; responsibility for mistreatment belongs to the person engaging in it.

How CBT, DBT, and Executive Functioning Support Fit In

Clinical assessment helps distinguish between needing to learn a skill and struggling to use a skill that is already understood. A person may know what to say but feel too anxious to begin. Another may enjoy conversations but repeatedly forget to follow up. Someone else may become so overwhelmed during conflict that communication breaks down.

My approach integrates social communication work with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and executive functioning support according to the individual’s needs. CBT may help someone test an anxious prediction through a manageable behavioral experiment. DBT skills can support mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and communication that balances relationship goals with self-respect. Executive functioning strategies can make follow-through more achievable through reminders, calendars, and smaller action steps.

A goal such as “make more friends” becomes more useful when translated into an observable next step: attend one interest-based activity, practice one conversation opener, or send a message to someone the person wants to know better. Progress is reviewed collaboratively, including whether the effort feels worthwhile and sustainable.

Helping Skills Carry Over Into Everyday Life

Practice between sessions connects treatment with the situations that matter. Assignments should be specific, realistic, and chosen with the participant. A busy or overwhelmed person may need a smaller step, a quieter setting, or help planning when to practice.

With the person’s agreement, a parent, partner, or other trusted support person may help prepare for an interaction, notice progress, or troubleshoot a plan. For young adults, coaching should protect autonomy and privacy while building independence. Brief, respectful encouragement is often more useful than reviewing every detail of an interaction.

Choosing a Group That Respects Neurodivergent Needs

The right social skills group depends on the participant’s goals, interests, communication needs, and readiness. Useful questions include how much guided practice occurs, how real-life goals are supported, and what accommodations are available. A participant who experiences intense anxiety or emotional distress may benefit from individual support before or alongside group participation.

Neurodiversity-affirming care makes room for different ways of connecting. Participants should be able to discuss sensory needs, ask for processing time, choose their own goals, and decide which strategies they want to use. Forced eye contact, suppression of harmless self-regulation, or pressure to hide distress should not serve as measures of progress.

Success may mean one more reciprocal friendship, greater confidence asking for a need, a more manageable social routine, or recognizing when to step away from an unhealthy relationship. Quality, choice, and well-being guide the work.

Specialized Support for Social Communication and Relationships

My clinical focus brings together autism and ADHD expertise, CBT and DBT interventions, executive functioning support, and collaboration with families when appropriate. My doctoral research examined DBT skills training for autistic adults, and my clinical work includes helping neurodivergent individuals navigate emotional and interpersonal challenges.

This integrated perspective helps me look beyond how an interaction appears to understand the person’s experience: their anxiety, attention, energy, sensory needs, goals, and sense of self. Treatment can then target the barriers that matter most to them.

If you or your child wants support building friendships, strengthening social communication, or navigating interpersonal relationships, contact my practice to discuss your goals and whether individual therapy or a social skills group may be an appropriate fit. Together, we can identify practical next steps toward relationships that feel more connected, respectful, and sustainable.

Take the Next Step Toward More Meaningful Connections

Are you or your child struggling to build friendships, navigate conversations, or feel confident in relationships? As a psychologist specializing in autism, ADHD, and neurodivergent social communication, I help individuals develop practical skills for connecting with others while honoring their identity, strengths, and needs.

Reach out to learn more now!