College Is Hard—DBT Can Help Young Adults with Autism

Finding Balance with DBT

A Practical Overview of DBT Skills for College Students and Young Adults with Autism

College life can feel like a rollercoaster—especially if you're a young adult on the autism spectrum. Between academic demands, social pressures, sensory overwhelm, and executive functioning struggles, it’s easy to feel like everything is “too much” all at once. That’s where Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills come in.

While DBT was originally developed for individuals with emotion dysregulation and chronic distress, research (including findings from my own dissertation) shows that DBT can be incredibly helpful for young adults with autism—especially those navigating the transitional challenges of college, early adulthood, and growing independence.

In my dissertation research, participants with autism who engaged in comprehensive DBT skills training demonstrated improvements in emotional insight, self-regulation, and reduced internal distress. What stood out most was the way DBT offered not just coping tools—but a compassionate framework for understanding emotional experiences without judgment.

Why DBT Works for Young Adults with Autism

DBT teaches practical, evidence-based skills across four core areas:

• Mindfulness (being present and aware)

• Distress Tolerance (getting through emotional storms)

• Emotion Regulation (understanding and managing feelings)

• Interpersonal Effectiveness (building and maintaining relationships)

These areas target common challenges faced by college young adults with autism, including sensory sensitivity, emotional flooding, difficulty naming feelings, rigid thinking patterns, and social anxiety.

What my research emphasized is that these skills are most effective when adapted using concrete, visual, and paced teaching methods, meeting you where you are in terms of processing style.

Unlike many treatment models, DBT does not aim to change who you are at your core. Instead, it provides language, tools, and frameworks to help you better cope with the demands of everyday life, without suppressing your identity.

Core DBT Skills That Can Help

Mindfulness: Being Present Without Judgment

Mindfulness is the foundation of all DBT work. For students with autism, mindfulness can be an accessible tool to:

• Create distance between thought and action

• Tune into sensory experiences and emotional cues

• Ground the nervous system during overstimulation

In my study, visual mindfulness exercises, repetition, and consistent structure were most effective in supporting emotional insight. Tools include:

• Breathing boxes or paced breathing apps

• Naming five things you see, hear, or feel (5-4-3-2-1 technique)

• Using visuals or checklists to help label inner experiences

Over time, these skills build self-awareness, which helps students identify when they need a break, when to ask for help, or when they’re heading toward burnout.

Distress Tolerance: Surviving the Hard Moments

This module teaches how to get through emotional crises without making things worse—especially relevant for students who feel overwhelmed by change, rejection, or sensory chaos.

My dissertation highlighted that students with autism often benefit from sensory-based distress tolerance tools over verbal or abstract strategies.

Helpful strategies include:

• TIP Skills (temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing, progressive relaxation) to reduce arousal quickly

• Distraction techniques (e.g., logic puzzles, games, music) that match a student's sensory profile

• Crisis kits with grounding items, scent-based tools, or tactile comfort objects

Rather than forcing emotions to disappear, distress tolerance helps students sit with discomfort in a safe and supported way.

Emotion Regulation: Understanding and Shaping Your Feelings

This area is particularly impactful for young adults with autism who experience emotional dysregulation but may not have the vocabulary or framework to describe it.

Participants in my research described this module as one of the most validating, especially when it included tools for identifying emotions through visuals, metaphors, and bodily cues.

Key skills include:

• Checking the Facts: Identifying whether your emotion fits the situation or has been distorted by past experiences or internal stories

• PLEASE skills: Addressing physical health needs (e.g., sleep, eating, movement, medical care) to reduce vulnerability to emotional reactivity

• Building positive experiences: Structuring the day to include enjoyable, fulfilling activities that promote emotional balance

These tools support self-validation and help students feel more in control of their emotional worlds.

Interpersonal Effectiveness: Navigating Relationships

For students with autism, social navigation often involves intense mental effort. DBT helps by providing structured scripts and formulas to increase confidence in communication.

In the dissertation group, many participants reported increased comfort in social settings after learning and practicing structured skills such as DEAR MAN or GIVE. Role-playing and visual scripts helped reduce social ambiguity.

Key tools include:

• DEAR MAN: A structured way to ask for what you need or say no clearly and respectfully

• GIVE: Skills for maintaining relationships and making others feel heard and valued

• FAST: Techniques for preserving self-respect during interpersonal conflicts

These strategies can reduce burnout from masking and increase the likelihood of having supportive, meaningful relationships.

Final Thoughts

If you’re a neurodivergent young adult trying to manage college life—or the parent of one—DBT skills can be a powerful, validating resource. They aren’t about masking your differences or trying to “fit in.” They’re about helping you navigate a world that often wasn’t designed with your nervous system in mind.

Findings from my dissertation support what many in the community have felt for years—with the right adaptations, DBT can offer structure, insight, and relief to those who often feel misunderstood or overwhelmed. DBT can help young adults with autism not just survive college, but thrive in college.

These skills can be learned in individual therapy, skills groups, or through coaching sessions. And with the right adaptations—clear language, visual tools, and a pace that fits your learning style—they can become a meaningful part of your emotional toolkit.

Want support learning DBT skills tailored to neurodivergence?

I offer individual therapy and skills coaching for teens and young adults with autism navigating emotion regulation, identity, and independence. Reach out here to learn more.